What if you thought you found the one God wanted for you, but it didn't end up working out? What if you fall for someone and start dating, only to find out they aren't a Christian? Until you find the person you wish to marry and spend your life with, all other romantic relationships will come to an end. Often this is through the awkward and sometimes painful process of a break-up. Maybe you're thinking, "I know I won't be ready for marriage for several years!
God may lead you to someone else, but there should be serious considerations to determine who you date and why. Casual dating hopping from one relationship to another often leads to hurt feelings and misunderstandings about relationships.
While dating, young men and women should treat each other with the same love and respect that God expects from husbands and wives. God hates divorce , so we should be very careful when choosing a spouse. While most of us never want to hurt others, there are valid reasons for breaking up, such as refusal to resolve conflicts, a change in faith, or sexual sin.
When a relationship is unhealthy, breaking up can be the best course of action in some cases. If you discover that the one you're dating is not the person you want to marry and spend a lifetime with, ending the relationship will save you both from entering a doomed marriage. Maybe you have been dating someone for a while only to discover that this person is not the one for you.
Maybe you have discovered he does not share your faith or convictions. Maybe you have been hurt by the one you are dating. Maybe you have discovered that your boyfriend or girlfriend indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Those whose lives are ruled by greediness, immorality, idolatry, etc. Anytime we deal with people, God expects us to treat others with dignity and respect—even if they have disappointed us or chosen not to treat us with respect or dignity.
That doesn't mean the other person will receive it well, and you are not responsible for how they respond. Each person is responsible for their own actions Jeremiah However, you ARE responsible for ending the relationship in a loving, respectful way. Three words come to mind when I think of how Jesus dealt with people He encountered during His earthly ministry: forgiveness, compassion, and truth.
Using these principles, we can find a God-honoring way to approach a break-up. In 1 Corinthians , Paul tells us to flee sexual immorality because it impacts us like no other sin. One of the ways we flee this is by ending a relationship where we are being pressured into having sex. This one may not always be a reason to break up, but you should definitely move out and take a hard look at the relationship. Despite what our culture suggests, moving in together physically before you have moved together emotionally and spiritually is something that almost never ends well.
Life is hard. We all have our issues: baggage from our childhood, past relationships, and just being alive in a messed world. Sin includes actions done by us, to us, or in our presence that can leave us with scars that need to heal. There may be a time in a relationship where you discover you or the person you are dating needs time to heal.
Temporarily pausing our dating life to heal may be the best gift you can give to your future spouse—and the most honoring thing to God, as you trust His timing. Husbands and wives are called to love and respect each other Ephesians , and we are told to enjoy life with the spouse God has given us Ecclesiastes This may be difficult to do in marriage if you are not enjoying being with them when dating.
When they push you away from Christ rather than towards Him. The whole purpose of your life and mine is to love God and love others Matthew If you are in a relationship that is making this more difficult to do, or distracting you from doing so, it may be time to move on.
But regardless of your beliefs or your view on divorce, most people would agree that a broken marriage is worse than a broken dating relationship.
If you are dating someone and the above scenarios apply to you, it may be worth breaking up now. This will be painful, but not as painful as a broken marriage would be.
Consult your community of believers around you, and listen to the advice given in the Bible. And which will he choose if you force the question?
If your mind works like mine, you probably change your mind every few days. Can you really see yourself spending the rest of your life with him? What if there is someone better out there? Many couples in this situation stay in the doldrums refusing to move forward or call it quits. You might even have decided to move in together as a quasi-commitment that seems to buy you some time. It was a long time ago, but I can remember being in the doldrums with my husband before we got married.
I liked him. But he was nothing like the guy I thought I would marry. I had concerns about how different our backgrounds and personalities were, and I was terrified of making a mistake.
As an adult woman, a stagnant dating relationship is also not healthy. Yet, how do you discern whether to move things forward or backward? If this describes your relationship, here are three things you can do to answer that question.
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